In the spirit of ranting, I decided to start a semi-regular theme here on the Fuzz Buzz. I will give brief civics lessons, from the police officer's point of view.
Lesson number one: You do NOT have the right to a phone call. I don't know where this started - probably with TV cop shows. After you are arrested, you do have certain rights. You do have the right to remain silent. (also often misunderstood, we'll cover it in another post) You do have the right to face your accusers (in court). You do have the right to be represented by an attorney. You DO NOT have an automatic right to "one phone call" immediately after you're arrested. That said, 90% of the drunks that get arrested for public drunkenness, and related nuisance offenses, demand to be allowed to make their one phone call. Almost without exception, they exclaim that they know their rights and will "have [my] badge" if I don't let them make a phone call. They proclaim that a phone call is a constitutional right. And the thing about drunk people is that they cannot be reasoned with. When I try to explain that they are not entitled to a phone call, that it's 4 in the morning, and even the pope could not get them out of jail until they are sober, they don't listen. They don't believe me when I tell them that the word telephone isn't even in the constitution or any of its amendments. They just get louder, more obnoxious, and claim to know more and more intimate details about my wife and family. Side note - while a criminal or a drunk insulting my family doesn't bother me, it certainly doesn't earn them any favors. If you ever get locked up, or for that matter have any run in with the law, courtesy goes a long way.
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Wow, that would have been embarrassing/awkward. Thank you! I feel much more prepared to be arrested now. Also, the pope HATES it when I wake him up at 4AM. Luckily, Rome is, like, 7 hours ahead, so it's more like almost lunchtime in the Vatican.
ReplyDelete(Seriously, thanks! I did not know this.)
What if I have a cellphone? Do you take it away? Do you turn it off so it still has a charge after I've slept off my Jäger bender, or whatever?
Ahh, the pleasures of a night in a cell.
ReplyDeleteYou have the right to remain silent. You have NO right to a phone call, your property, your belt, shoelaces, hoodie strings, jewelry, cigarettes, favorite pocket knife, blanket, pillow, your almost empty bottle of medication that was just filled two days ago that you have to have right now, or any other comforts of home upon being placed in a cold cell. You have no right to immediately be let out of the cell no matter how much you scream and rant, or how hard you kick and bang on the cell door, bed and walls. YOU are no longer in charge of your freedom. Your urgent wants and needs are not your rights and can be easily ignored. Maybe you can make a phone call for bail once you see the judge. Maybe. Enjoy your visit.
9125 days sober
Exactly. I had a guy tell me once that if he didn't take his medication within an hour, he'd probably die. He was arrested because he was passed out drunk in a gas station bathroom. He lived in Pittsburg, 6 hours away. He heard West Chester was a fun place to go out. He said his medicine was in his bedroom at home, and he demanded I drive there and get it for him, within an hour!
ReplyDeleteMr Young, we don't allow cell phones in the jail cells, ironically.
ReplyDeletedo you still have the right to sing the blues?
ReplyDeleteyou always "...Gotta Right to Sing the Blues"
ReplyDelete